


The Life, Love, and Lies of the Avengers

by Not_Your_Deers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Bisexual Stephen Strange, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gen, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, There Are Two Authors, Truth or Dare, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-02-29 20:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18785227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_Your_Deers/pseuds/Not_Your_Deers
Summary: Two bored Marvel Nerds decide everyone needs to get to know the Avengers a little (or, well, a lot) better. What better (or worse) way to do that, then Truth or Dare, with a twist?*Disclaimer: We are not Disney, nor are we Stan Lee (RIP), therefore no matter we want it to be true, we do not own Marvel, or these characters*





	The Life, Love, and Lies of the Avengers

Slytherin created chat “ **Truth or Dare?** ”

Slytherin added Gryffindor

Slytherin added GBPP, LaNgUaGe!, Nat, Better_Bird, I-Need-A-Horse, TheStrongestAvenger, Red_Death, Cortana, BETTER_BIRD, Iron-Patriot, MischiefManaged, Mister Doctor, Underoos,

TheEndOfTheLine.

 

Gryffindor - Greetings and Hello. Welcome to the Avengers Truth or Dare! Slytherin and I decided that no one knows enough about each other so we decided to fix that little problem. If there are any questions keep them to yourself.

Slytherin - so essentially after everything going on y’all need some bonding. everyone’s identities are secret, so don’t reveal yourself or someone else. that’s just RUDE. Good luck.

Mister Doctor - Why does the Gryffindor sound like they are talking to an audience, if they are only texting a group of superheroes?

Slytherin - nevermind that. let’s get this game started by revealing your game master…..

Better_Bird - OH NO

Slytherin - …..

Cortana - The choice of the game master will probably result in problems for the rest of us.

Slytherin - …..

MischiefManaged - This isn’t going to be good

Slytherin - Well, it is for you, because our wonderful game master is @MischiefManaged!!!

Gryffindor - The way the game master works, differently than the Game Creators. It is the game master who enforces the truths and dares. The Game Creators come up with the truths and the dares for everyone to answer. I will be in charge of any and all dares.

Slytherin - I’ll be keeping track of the truths!

 

Slytherin - so, @MischiefManaged, truth or dare???

MischiefManaged - truth, i suppose

Slytherin - Who is the strongest Avenger? (And, no, you can’t say yourself).

MischiefManaged - The strongest Avenger is Thor. I mean, he’s essentially the only one with any sort of skill or powers.

I-Need-A-Horse - I LIKE THIS ONE

Gryffindor - Truth or Dare to @I-Need-A-Horse.

I-Need-A-Horse - DARE!!!

Gryffindor - @I-Need-A-Horse You have been dared to sneak up on Miss. Potts and Scream I NEED A HORSE.

I-Need-A-Horse - YES

GBPP - @I-Need-A-Horse you do realise that doing this is going to end badly for you.

I-Need-A-Horse - WHAT COULD A HUMAN LIKE LADY POTTS REALLY DO??

GBPP - I really hope you get injured.

Iron-Patriot - yeah, man, you’re screwed

 ---

Pepper Potts is sitting at her desk, picking at a salad absentmindedly and reading yet another official report when a tall figure lands quietly on the balcony behind her. They sneak up behind her, trying to keep their heavy footsteps silent on the hardwood floors.

As they reach the position directly behind her chair, they scream, “I NEED A HORSE!”

Interns and scientists in Stark Tower that day would swear the entire building shook with the thunderous yell. Beakers broke, chemicals spilled, and an important business partner found himself on the floor of the meeting room, nearly crying with laughter. It was all around chaos.

Meanwhile, in the office of the CEO, Pepper spins around, expression fierce, and stabs the intruder with the nearest available object - the fork with which she is eating her lunch. They scream in pain as the metal prongs dig into the skin of their forearm. She glares at them, and they slowly back out off the room, and into the hallway, where they then break into a sprint, attempting to return to their room before they are spotted. Their footsteps pound as they race away.

Pepper sighs, and resigns herself to looking for another fork, as the last one was still stuck in the intruder’s arm.

\---

I-Need-A-Horse - LADY POTTS IS SURPRISINGLY STRONG AND I APPEAR TO BE BLEEDING

GBPP - Was it the fork? Trust me I really did try to warn you.

Iron-Patriot - It could be the scissors, this time, or the pen. That was pretty vicious too.

MischiefManaged - I can, in fact, confirm that @I-Need-A-Horse did complete their dare, though I’m sure anyone in Stark Tower could have confirmed that fact. And, yes, it was the fork.

TheStrongestAvenger - Can someone please explain why there was yelling across the tower because last time checked that isn’t conducive to a safe work environment. So if all of you wouldn’t mind  please do SHUT UP!

 

Slytherin - well then, that was certainly more amusing than expected. remind me to never upset pepper potts. so anyways, @Underoos, if you’re here, truth or dare?

Underoos - Hi. I’m here. Yes. And I pick truth (this is so exciting!!!)

Slytherin - Ok, Underoos, Which Avenger is your favorite??

Underoos - Woah ok that’s a difficult question.

GBPP - Isn’t the answer obvious?

Underoos - Each avenger has great qualities. Cap is like super strong and like super amazing and is like super intimidating. His shield also totally doesn’t obey any sort of laws of physics so that’s cool.

LaNgUaGe! - So Cap is your favorite Avenger, then?

Underoos - Mr. Stark is totally a major genius, with like the coolest suits ever. He is also super nice and I love him.

GBPP - I’m sure Mr. Stark is glad you love him So Much.

Underoos - Black Widow is the best spy ever she can kill someone with a shoe. She keeps control of the room while seemingly seems uninterested in all of her surroundings. Which is like so totally freaking amazing.

Nat - A shoe really? She can Kill someone with literally anything

Underoos - Mr. Hawkeye is an amazing shot. He is always ready to fight for the underdogs and the fact that he has kept his family secret from the greatest group of superheros is also pretty awesome.

Better_Bird - so is he your favorite, coz if so, good choice kid.

Underoos - Thor is like a literal God which is clearly like super cool. When he first comes to earth the fact that he doesn’t understand everything and tries to steal from the government and beats up almost everyone is so totally freaking cool.

I-Need-A-Horse - WAS IT TECHNICALLY STEALING????

Underoos - Spiderman who apparently was offered to become an Avenger turned down TonyFreaking Stark because he thought it was a test. He takes the minor jobs the Avengers deem too irrelevant to take. Looking out for the little guy has always been m…. Spiderman’s job.

GBPP - Really, Spiderman? I mean honestly what is up with that kid anyways?

Underoos - The Greatest Avenger ever though would have to be 100% Freaking Bruce Banner. Not the Hulk - Bruce Fucking Banner. He has 7 fucking PhDs, deals with the stress of sharing a mind with a crazy ass green monster. Sorry, Mr Stark, but he’s the best.

EndOfTheLine - LANGUAGE!

LaNgUaGe! - really? I’m so done with this stupid joke...

TheStrongestAvenger - Really? Everyone always says the Hulk. Bruce Banner sometimes just needs more credit than he is ever given. He just needs someone to tell him they love and appreciate him.

GBPP- Excuse me. Last time I checked Tony appreciates Bruce, I mean after all they are Science Bros.

Nat - Hold on a just a minute. What do you mean Bruce needs someone to tell him they love him. What does even mean last time I checked he was in a very committed relationship. And every single person in the Avengers new and old appreciates him more than he knows.

BETTER_BIRD - I finally come into the group chat and this is what i see???? I didn’t sign up for this cuteness…. Also what the freak is going on with my username???

Gryffindor - Well you see @BETTER_BIRD Slytherin and I thought it would be a good idea to get to know the Avengers more so we created Avengers truth or dare. No matter what can you tell any one who you are. Also I would just like to add that if you piss me off and you choose dare you will more than likely end up injured. You all have been warned.

 

Slytherin - and on that sickeningly sweet and creepy note, @GBPP, truth or dare???

GBPP- I being the Brave man I am choose Dare.

Gryffindor - Okay @GBPP the dare you will be presented is… Finding the Avenger you hate most and telling them everything you love about them and if you don’t have anything, lies are allowed for this one.

Slytherin - oooh drama

GBPP - Odd, but okay this could be interesting.

 

\---

A tall, dark haired figure sits alone on a chair in the Avengers’ sitting room, a large book open on their lap. Another person walks into the room, wearing a neatly cut black suit. They smile sharply at the one in the chair.

“So, I have to tell you everything I love about you, I guess,” they sigh.

“Oh so you hate me the most?”

“Clearly, yes, that’s why I’m here, now let’s get this over with please?”

“Sure, I mean I’m not surprised but go ahead.” They roll their eyes.

“First of all, I really admire the way you always stand up for your friends, and are so self sacrificing. It’s really incredible how brave you are and how much you look out for, well, him.”

They look at their feet as they speak. The other Avenger smiles.

“Second, I think you’re really strong, and a great fighter. And you’re smart, and you’re perfect material to be a member of the Avengers. And I don’t blame you at all for anything that happened. I think you’re just an all around great person, really.”

They smirk brightly, turn on their heel, and storm out of the room.

The other person, left alone in the room once again, returns to their book with a slight smile and an eye roll.

\---

EndOfTheLine - So it’s nice to I’m loved and appreciated…

LaNgUaGe! - oh they came after you???

EndOfTheLine - yeah. Some of it was even true!

GBPP - LIES

MischiefManaged - This is confirmed to have happened. It was great. I live on other people’s pain.

Red_Death - So, in the grand scheme of things, those where not all lies. Most, in fact, held a little piece of truth.

Mister Doctor - I agree. I believe that GBPP cares more about @TheEndOfTheLine more than he cares to admit

Slytherin - That was interesting…. Certainly better results than we expected. Also is @TheStrongestAvenger ever going to acknowledge @Nat, or…?

TheStrongestAvenger - @Nat Okay so Bruce is in a committed relationship. Just because the person he is with loves him doesn’t mean the rest of the world loves him. The Hulk gets all of the love and adoration so for once, Bruce actually getting the love is a very welcome change.

 

Gryffindor - Tune in next time for more drama, folks!

**Author's Note:**

> First: Gryffindor and Slytherin are the two authors of this account. We're not characters!
> 
> Second: You can guess the identities of any characters who you recognise, and the one with the most guesses gets "revealed" next  
> chapter
> 
> Third: You can submit truths/dares to characters (using their usernames, not real names!) and we'll use them ASAP
> 
> Fourth: We hoped you enjoyed, and comments are appreciated/needed!


End file.
